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"You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself.

The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self.

Now just so we’re clear, dating and relationship hiatuses tend to be 3-6 months, sometimes longer and they are an in your future. You can let go of all the bullshit, get a clear head and some perspective so you can own your own and let others own theirs instead of taking ownership of other people’s feelings and behaviour, plus you can be free of the burden that many people give themselves of either waiting to be chosen by someone or being a performing seal and trying to convince and convert.

After your ‘detox’, you can re-enter the dating world bright-eyed and bushy tailed, as well as personally secure because if you commit to your decision, you will also be far less likely to accept crumbs in future because you’ll have been a responsible provider and supporter of you – why would you accept less than what you can already do for yourself?

He who knows himself is enlightened." - Lao Tzu“When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere." François de la Rochefoucauld"You have brains in your head. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. Seuss"By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation." - Oscar Wilde"Being single is pretty good. I know right off the bat if I'm interested in someone, and I don't want them to waste their money on me and take me out to eat if I know I'm not interested in that person""I was dating this guy and we would spend all day text messaging each other.And he thought that he could tell that he liked me more because he actually spelt the word 'YOU' and I just put the letter 'U'""I don't know the first real thing about the dating game.I regularly come across people who recognise that they’ve either been in similar types of relationship with same type of person, different package, or that regardless of who they’ve been involved with, they’ve had a pattern of seeing of seeing themselves as ‘less than’, people-pleasing, and accepting crumbs while having little to no boundaries.Each will express their frustrations and have a genuine desire to not go through the same pain again, and yet when I suggest that they take a temporary hiatus from dating and relationships, it’s crickets.

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Hunter Wagner, Age 28Occupation: Internet Account Executive Hometown: Fair Oaks Ranch, TX What is his dating dealbreaker: When his date can’t stop talking about superficial things Jason, Age 27Occupation: Construction Consultant Hometown: Johnson City, TN Jay, Age 29Occupation: Lawyer Hometown: Barrington, RI What he considers his greatest achievement: Graduating from law school Jesse Beck, Age 24Occupation: General Contractor Hometown: Peculiar, MO What is his best date memory: Having a food fight!

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In fact it has added a whole new meaning to my rather humdrum life these days.

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